Charles G's texts
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Corrected text

Text N° 2

Later on in life I would like to do several projects. Initially after my A-levels I want to do a second-year post-A-level diploma in the client relations sector which offers 6 weeks class room learning and 6 weeks on-the-job training - like that I can spend some time in school and return to the workplace to gain experience in a business. After my second-year post-A-level diploma, I would like to become a salesman because I really like the contact with people to discuss a potential sale, or if not, I'd like to work in pyrotechnics : to sell fireworks since I have already some experience of this small world of fireworks because my father is a pyrothecnicien. What I'd like to do and the field in which I would like to practise my profession are really two sectors dealing with people.

Comment :

Quite a lot of modifications were needed because of the numerous mistakes. It's short but it's rather good overall (dans l'ensemble)

Your mark is 11/20

The original :

Text N° 2

In my next life I liked several projects. Initially after my degree I want to make an STI BTS "negotiation client relationship" alternately to leave a little bit this school and return to the workplace to gain experience in a business. After the BTS would like to become commercial because I really like the relationship with people to discuss selling, or so I'd like to work in pyrotechnics is to say, pull and / or sell fireworks since that I have been in this small world of fireworks because my father is pyrothecnicien. What I like and which includes in general it is really two businesses dealing with people.

Corrected text

Text 1

In this text the writer says that women are essential to their family. Women are essential to life at home but also —to live at the line—( I can’t understand the meaning of this sentence ). At home most women do 75% of the household chores , they take care of the children etc… Concerning the financial side of things and as mentioned in the text, without two salaries many families could not live or very badly. We learn from the text that if Cheryl had not returned to work the family would not have been able to survive with their five children. Women who work receive much more recognition than those who stay at home to do the household chores and take care of the children** .

The original :

Text 1

In this text the narrator says that women are essential to their family. Women are essential to life at home but also to live at the line. At home most women 75% of household chores , she takes care of children etc… At the financial level as far as it has without their salaries many families could not live or very badly in the text as it is explained that if jones's mother had not retumed to work he could not yet possible to follow financially with their five children. Women are in general much more work not recognized as household chore or even child care.